They Lied To You. You Don’t Need To Compromise, Try This Instead.


She wanted to go to the park, I didn’t. I wanted family time watching Mulan but she didn’t.

Feelings and energy are intertwined. Bruce and I don’t like the energy of compromise so we don’t invite it in our marriage or home.

Acknowledging each other’s feelings is important to us, we want to feel valued and we all want to win. Some will say you can’t always get your way, but as a couple, we challenge that mindset and explore how we can all get our way.😁

Compromise usually precedes bitterness. We saw how it tore many relationships and families apart. We grew up in environments where this was just a way of life. We didn’t like it and we refuse to raise a young girl who will grow up to be a woman who believes that her value is tied to martyrdom, sacrifice, and compromise.

An environment where no one has to feel like they have to give up something for someone else to be happy is what makes each one of us feel valued and safe.

It was Sunday. Park versus Mulan.

We created room for each one of us to make considerations for a win-win. In the end, because it was important to her, and we always want her to feel valued, I agreed to go. She may not have wanted a movie that afternoon but because it was important to mummy and daddy, she agreed to it.

Turns out the park was worth it. It was fun and she was excited to get back home for popcorn and Mulan. 5 minutes in, Mulan is chasing a chicken, ends up roof surfing, and gracefully breaks her fall with a stick, and casually lands.

 “She’s got skills!” Xanthie yells excitedly leaning back getting comfy. She was impressed and now fully invested in Mulan’s journey.

It turned out to be a beautiful day for everyone. We consciously co-created this through consideration of each person’s wants and needs.

No sacrifice.

No compromising energy.

Only consideration energy.

So for today, I’m asking you: Where has compromising energy and sacrifice caused you more harm than good?

Are you willing to invite conversations on considerations for a win-win instead?

The opportunities to stay true to your desires whilst respecting someone else’s desires have been there all along. You just needed a different approach.

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